One Equal World

Is My Kid Gay?

Posted on: August 28, 2013

Kate Winslet

Kate Winslet made sure her son knew he was loved the same, whether he was gay or straight.
The Image Worx / Shutterstock.com

Do you think your child might be gay, but you’re straight?  First of all, consider the fact that you may be wrong.  Stereotypes about what gay people are like could be clouding your vision.  Just because your three-year-old son likes wearing makeup, that does not make him gay.  Lots of little boys love glitter and colorful things like makeup.  It’s like face paint to them.

Now, let’s say you’re right.  Maybe your son or daughter does end up being gay.  Examine your own feelings on the matter before you ask.  Consider what you will say if the answer is yes.  Hopefully you’re an open-minded person who will take it in stride.  If it helps, you can even write out some notes so you can easily remember what you wanted to say.

A good example is actress Kate Winslet. Recently she said, “I like being in the city. I like the diversity that my children are exposed to every day. I love the way their brains work. Joe (her 7-year-old son) turns to me the other day and says ‘One day I will have a girlfriend.  But I might have a boyfriend.  If am gay.”

In her infinite wisdom, she simply said, “You might have a girlfriend or a boyfriend, darling.”  When he asked which she would prefer, she said, “My love, that would be entirely up to you, and it doesn’t make any difference to me.”

Further, she said the best thing is that he knows it’s okay either way and that he will not be judged.  She said, “Talk about the best education.”

Yet, life is complicated.  So, your first step should just be to acknowledge that your child may be gay.  It’s okay.  They are still your kid, and you love them no matter what.  Trying to hide from the fact only makes things worse.

Next steps could include attending LGBT events like Pride, finding books like “Tango Makes Three,” and talking to your child about how they feel.

Bottom line: Some people and kids are gay.  Some are not.  Your child will be yours for life.  Think of this as a teachable moment.  Or, if you can’t find the words, go ahead and quote Kate.

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